Triiibe Talk #2 | Building Trust VS "Innocent Until"

*written from the perspective of a demisexual*

Building Trust VS "Innocent Until" 

The first mistake people make when getting to know whether or not they can trust another person, is assuming that "distrusting" is a complete verb. "Distrust," like the word "cold," is a word that means a lack of the base word, so "distrusting" a person is to "trust them to do something mean-spirited or harmful." 

There are A LOT of non-monogamous forms of intimacy out there, as well as even more people shaming those relationship dynamics, so it's hard to tell what is genuine concern for self, and what is simply a manifestation of deeper toxicity & trust issues, so most non-monogamous individuals feel an instinctual defensiveness and/or dismissiveness of other people's dislike for said dynamic.

The reality is that trust has a very unique dynamic in which you cannot "trust" a person to be capable of a positive OR a negative impact on you until they've acted, (not spoken), on their ideologies and personal habits.

Building trust isn't ignoring red flags, (things close in proximity to, but not an act of), and giving a person an opportunity to do you harm, building trust is two or more persons acting in consideration of each other's emotional and physiological needs to whatever extent principle allows for a healthy relationship dynamic, regardless of familiarity.

Without all parties involved focusing the necessary time and energy to do this very thing, LITERAL trust is impossible to achieve.

In closing, I would like to add that what most people believe is trust, is actually faith.

Faith requires you to ignore all other possibilities, impacts, & ideas, all to maintain your belief in whatever or whomever you're engaging.

You do not need to denounce your faith to separate it from your ability to build trust, you only need to understand that they are not synonymous in the context of any form of intimacy, including friendships.