*written from the perspective of pysch major pursuing a phd* 

Black Love

This one is gonna be straight-forward and simple in comparison to the first two "talks," and here it is:

Black love IS unconditional love!

Unconditional love is an impossible myth to some, but that's mostly due to how people view love itself.

Love is a consistent feeling of DEEP affection & consideration, that is all. It is not staying with an abuser because of what they may have done for you in the past, or lying to your children about the real world so that they may share your beliefs.

Loving someone enough to let them go because staying with them is hurting the both of you, loving your children enough to tell them the truth through tears in your eyes... that is love.

Putting aside your own DESIRES & OPINIONS for the NEEDS of another human being is also an act of love, something our community has to learn to show the LGBT+ friends & family we forget are just as "black." 

Black Love IS NOT telling black women:

"Until one of you treats me how I want to be treated, you're hoes, loose, scammers, gold diggers, & ugly man-less babymommas that buy hair instead of baby food."

Black Love IS NOT telling black men:

"Until one of you treats me the way I want to be treated, you're trash, garbage, worthless, evil ass soulless vessels who ain't worth shit but community d*ck and money, if that."

In closing, the point isn't to erase the toxicity of both groups, the point is to stop wasting energy arguing with the toxic parts of both groups and instead, focus on helping genuine people heal.

Almost all of us has had a moment where we wished someone just talked to us to make it all make sense... the question is: how many of us could have been that person for someone else if we weren't so distracted trying to make toxic people in denial admit they're toxic people in denial :)